My lady parts are being assholes.

The above statement has some history behind it. Back in 1995 I had my left ovary and part of the tube removed due to a 15cm cyst that decided to take them over. I didn’t realize what was happening until I began to experience immense amounts of pain. I was left with a 6″ scar running up my abdomen and only one ovary. The scar has faded some since then and over the years I have done all the things I was told to do in order to protect the ovary I have left.

Well, two years ago I found out that a cyst had made itself right at home on my right ovary. I was put on birth control in the hopes that it would keep it under control. The first year went well as did the second, or so I thought. Last week I went in for my annual exam. The doctor asked me the usual questions and when asked when my last period had been I told her that, for the most part, my period has been all over the place since going on the pill. She asked me what I meant by “all over the place”. I told her that before going on the pill my period was like clockwork. It was always on time but ever since I started taking the pill that it’s not like that anymore. And then I mentioned that I had missed a period the month before but that I figured it was due to all the running I had been doing in preparation for the Chicago Marathon. She said that was more than likely the case and she added that all the exercises was also more than likely causing the pill to get metabolized a lot faster than normal. This made me question whether the pill had been working correctly then. She said it probably was. She asked me if I’d had spotting in between my periods to which I said yes. Although, I wasn’t sure if it was spotting or just an irregular period that was just really light. So she went in to see how things were going and that was when she found the polyp.

Turns out the in between spotting was due to a cervical polyp that’s been growing down there. This is why I said my lady parts are being assholes. I mean, I already lost one ovary, the other one has not one but two cysts growing on it now, with one being about the size of a quarter. And now there is a polyp on top of that. The doctor doesn’t seem to be concerned with the cysts. She said they looked like regular cysts on the ultrasound she had me get the week following her initial diagnosis of the polyp. I guess cysts are not uncommon things for some women and as long as they’re monitored they can be fine. But the polyp needs to come out. On a positive note, there didn’t appear to be any growing inside my cervix and it looks like there is just the one on the outside. But it’s big enough that she’d like to get it out. So the procedure has been tentatively scheduled for three weeks from now.

Am I worried? Not really. Well, not a lot. Maybe a little. I’ve been down this road before and, really, this time it will be less invasive than the surgery I had last time, but it still stinks. I don’t understand why I’ve been having so many problems down there. I’ve never been one to sleep around in my adult life and now that I’m in a relationship with a wonderful man all these issues are popping up “down there”.

For the first time I found myself imagining what it might be like to have a child with someone – because he is just that wonderful a man – and while having a child was not something that seemed feasible for several reasons, it was still nice to imagine it. And it was nice to know the option was there. But now it looks like that maybe it never was. My reproductive system has betrayed me more than once now and I can’t help but feel as though it’s telling me to forget about having a kid, ever. And while I was never 100% on board with actually going ahead with it because of my age and where he and I are financially, it was a nice idea none the less. But now even the idea seems to have been taken away from me.

I would like for the procedure to go smoothly and for that issue to go away. I’ll still have the cysts to worry about but one thing at a time, right?

Here’s hoping.