Trying something new.

It wasn’t this difficult to write before, but lately my head hasn’t wanted to much. If you read my previous blog you would have noticed the huge gaps between posts. I wanted to write lots of times but once the computer screen was staring me in the face my head would fight it. I was feeling…I don’t know how I was feeling, to be honest. Tired. Unsure of what I was doing anymore. I had started my first blog out of sheer emotional desperation because of how broken I had felt after the demise of my last relationship, but that was more than three years ago. Enough time had passed that I felt I had moved on from all of that. I have, but not completely. Remnants still remain and that means I haven’t let it go completely. At least that’s what my therapist tells me. (Yes, I’ve started to see a therapist again.) My failed attempts at dating again have only made me feel worse about relationships.

I didn’t want to keep writing about those things. I hated that 95% of my blog was about my difficult and painful dating experiences. On one hand it was great to have a place to get it all out, on the other it sucked that I had so much to get out. After a while, a long while, I began to not want to let it out like I had before.

My heart wants to keep writing. It loves to write and wants to continue telling stories about my life. My head feels conflicted about what I should and shouldn’t write about. I’m still not 100% sure how this will all play out, but what I was sure of was that it was time to “put away” what I had already gotten out.

So this is my attempt at a fresh start. I don’t know what will end up here. And for those that decided to follow me on this new chapter I hope I won’t disappoint.


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